Halfway To Heaven
Words and Music by Harry Chapin

There's no tick tock on your electric clock
But still your life runs down
There's no tick tock on your electric clock
But still your life runs down

I'm halfway to heaven and my home in Forest Hills
It's half past eleven, I've got some time to kill
I missed bus connection, my train got in too late
And I'm forced into reflection by this half-hour wait

Now I have been a straight man and I played it by the rules
I've been a good man, a good husband, a good old fashioned fool
I have a fine wife and two children just like everybody's got
But after fifteen years of marriage, the fires don't burn too hot

Ah, someone played a trick on me
They set me up so perfectly
The gave me their morality
And then changed the rules they set for me

Someone must be laughing now
Although it don't seem funny somehow
How the world's accepting now
What they once would not allow back in my younger days.
The world has changed, in so many ways.

My mother once said to me, so many years ago now
"Don't you touch those bad girls." 
So I never had girls
Until I had my Mary when we married

My Mary then had my two sons
My life as a lover was already done
It was over before it 
Had really begun

Ah, someone played a trick on me
Just sent this little girl to me
She is my new secretary
And she's something to see

Yes, she's a nice girl
But it's a young world
And she lives her life so free
And she sure gets through to me

She brings her pad into my office
She wears a sweater and a skirt
Somewhere deep inside of me
Something starts to hurt

She's wearing nothing underneath
I can see what there's to see
She smiles and says, "You wanted me?"
I'd have to agree

You know how much I want her
And I know that I could have her
I know I could, I know she would
Make love to me, so wonderfully

God damn! 
I'm one crazy mixed up mixture of a man

In my head all my life
I've been a sinner
And in my bed with just my wife
I'm still a beginner

But tomorrow night 
I'm taking that little girl
Out to dinner!

There's no tick tock on your electric clock
But still your life runs down
There's no tick tock on your electric clock
But still your life runs down